Tuesday, March 20, 2018

On Writing More

What exactly does that look like?  I'll be honest, I don't know.  For now possibly just more posting here.  Perhaps writing something to submit somewhere later on.  Feasibly some more short essay-style pieces.  If I'm truly honest, I don't know how long this desire will last.

I've craved and reveled in writing since I was young.  I wrote stories on my electric typewriter in Junior High.  Later in High School, I took both a short story and a poetry class, neither of which ended up being what I imagined they would be.  I've submitted a few pieces to short story contests, but that never went anywhere.  Looking back, I'm sure it was because I was writing high school quality work to send into a magazine with adults submitting a much higher level of work to the same competitions.

Later in my adult life, when we lived in Missouri, I was part of a writing group for a very short amount of time.  Just as I was starting to get back into writing, I got a much-needed job.  Said job and writing group weren't compatible.  Getting paid outweighed the creative endeavor.  I also started a food blog while we live there.  I wrote for several years and even morphed into a creative blog before closing and deleting it.  Why delete?  Because I was done with it and when I'm done I'm done.

Fast forward to today, well here we are, listening to me talk about wanting to write more.  I still don't know what that really means or what that will really look like.  I've continually been drawn to creative writing.  I have a stash of poetry that's never been made public, most of which was written in my late teens and early 20's.  I have a few incomplete prose and essays from our time in Missouri, little to nothing form our time in Texas and a few bits from living in Alaska.

Along with creative writing, I enjoy sharing what I know.  This blog space is a place for me to do a bit of everything.  I started blogging again as a way to air out my personal thoughts and share my views of the world.  I've created some categories and I've written some posts, but now I'm starting to see other possibilities and opportunities for me to grow and develop my writing.

Last week I posted this photo on Instagram and included the following caption...

"You’re never too old to start something new or to grow into the person you wish you were. Never stop learning and never let fear control your path."

The question running through my head right now is do I really believe that?  Yes, inner critic, I really do.  I'm trying to put my fear aside and will need to use a little duct tape to shut the mouth of my inner critic and then we'll be on our way.

I love this idea from Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic -

"Dearest Fear:  Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together.  I understand you'll be joining us, because you always do.  I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously." 

She goes on to say that Fear can come on the trip, there is plenty of room in the car.  That fear can also have a voice but not a vote and she ends the section with -

"above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."

What does this have to do with writing more?  To be honest, writing more for me is putting my fear in the back seat and telling it to shut up!  I'm always in fear of what others are thinking when I'm talking and sharing my ideas, thoughts, and insight.  I need to remind myself that writing in this space is a safe space, I'm in control and fear needs to sit this one out.  For me, fear and my inner critic are conjoined twins that egg each other on.

I'll leave you with this visual -  Creativity and I are going to be partners in crime, we'll be getting in our panel van and Fear and the Inner Critic will be bound and gagged in the back.  Yes.  Perhaps I do listen to too many True Crime podcasts, but that's a story for another day.

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